Truth #1: The Bachelorette Party

It's time for Frog Kisser: the true Reston story. My fans (okay, a few friends) want to know what parts of the book are based on reality. So here you go...

The fake bachelorette party: True.

What happened is this: my friend Bryn threw a fantastic party for another friend. When she described the wanton debauchery of the evening, I was terribly bummed I'd missed it. As she went on to describe the "to-do" list, I remarked that a party like that was wasted on someone actually getting married. I went on to say the thing I most regretted about having never gotten married was not getting one of those parties.

Well, Bryn has a good heart and hates to see her friends suffer. I became a bride. Or, at least I got to wear a cute little shirt that said bride along with a fake diamond ring and have the best bachelorette party Rumur’s has ever seen (and that is saying something).

My friends went all out. We had a dinner beforehand and took the purity test. I'm sworn to eternal secrecy about the details, except to say there are some things I simply didn't know were physically possible until I took that test. Bryn filled me up with chocolate martinis, gave me a sparkly tiara and a candy necklace, and we gathered our to-do lists and hit the town.

I wasn't sure I'd pull it off. The ring was definitely fake and I was definitely single. But, no one cared. I spent a blissful evening with cute young men licking various shots off my neck, kissing guys with the "same name" as the groom, letting guys do body shots off me (and then kissing them when they completed the task successfully), and unsuccessfully trying to get a guy to part with a condom.

The twenty other bachelorette parties that night sucked compared to mine. And boy were the brides pissed.

I did pay the next day. Four chocolate martinis is about two too many, just in case you're wondering. I haven't been able to drink them since. I still have my bride shirt, though. I chuckle when I see the things guys wrote on it. Very mature.

Oh, yeah, and I did fall totally in love with scrumptious old blue eyes, who wanted me to look him up if the marriage thing didn't work out. Can I pick them, or what? He sure was hot, though. Sigh.