The Other Side of the Story?
Yesterday a guy friend I was lunching with commented on the fact that someone needs to write a book from the Frog's perspective. I said that was a great idea because I, for one, wanted to know what the hell those boys are thinking. Do you agree? Who should write it? I don't think I can...I don't think I could get inside their heads and make the heroes sympathetic.
What do you think is going on inside the head of a Frog?
I recently dated a guy who acted like a prince...for five dates. He said and did all the things guys do and say when they feel lucky to be with the woman they're with. It was nice. After five dates, I got an e-mail saying that he just didn't see any long-term potential with me, and therefore there was no reason to carry on.
Huh?
Since he is basically a good guy, he agreed to meet with me and talk about it because I really wanted to understand this abrupt change in attitude. We had a great talk, one in which he explained himself as best he could (which really wasn't that good, but he tried). I won't go into the details, except to say it turns out he prefers messed up drama freaks to stable women.
He is a Frog, at least at this point in his life. I felt a little sorry for him when he realized that. He said he thought he was too individual to be like all the rest. Alas, I thought so too. We were both wrong.
What's my point? My point is I think the frogs are complex humans too, and I don't think they know they're frogs. (I'm not counting married men, or other people who cheat on significant others...there is no way you can behave like that and not know you're an ass.)
I'm interested in feedback on this musing, so let me know what you think?
posted by Susan @ 5:45 AM
2 Comments:
I think there are several different types of frogs:
1. The guy that will *never* want to be with one woman ever. He feels he is limiting himself by settling down. He never wants to give up that lifestyle that most guys in their 20s have. They see marriage/steady relationship as some sort of life-wrekcer. That he will no longer have 'freedom.' If any guy makes it to 35 without having had a long-term relationship, been engaged, or been married, I think you have to look long and hard at why. He probably doesn't want any of these things and never will. (there may be exceptions to this rule, but there are very few of them)
2. The guy that really is just dating you and pretending he is in to you to have sex. These guys do everything perfectly for a few dates (maybe even the 5 you mentioned), thinking that if they play their cards right and are patient enough, they will end up in bed with you.
3. The guy that believes every decent girl is 'too good for him.' He somehow believes he is a scoundrel that does not deserve a good relationship, so the minute he is in one, he wrecks it. He likes drama and messed up girls, but he, too, thinks he is messed up and deserving of crap. (there are women like this, too, I have noticed).
As Groucho Marx once said, "I wouldn't want to be a member of a country club that would have me as a member."
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