Sam's Adventures and Stuff

Sam Emerson, my frog kissing heronine, has been have a grand old time making friends on MySpace. She's got 26 friends now; twice as many as I have. A few of them are other cartoon people, a few are guys who seem to want to date her. If you haven't done so, I encourage you to check MySpace out. It's interesting to see the ways people are using it to sell books, products, and themselves. Am I a little obsessed? Yes. Will I stop accosting my friends on the street and forcing them to create profiles? Just as soon as they do it.

Sam also has her own web site now, www.confessionsofafrogkisser.com.

In the meantime, I've been paying more attention to Ellie, and she's feeling better. I got a last-minute invitation to go to Rehoboth Beach last weekend. Between the rain and the absence of an Internet connection, I had many hours to devote to Ellie. It was fantastic. I'm almost done with draft #2. As soon as I wrap that up, I'm going to start looking for an agent. Eeek. I know that will be a long process, but I'm ready. My new superfast laser printer will help a lot.

Speaking of Ellie, she's demanding a little attention right now. I must not ignore her.

Poor Neglected Ellie

I'm a bad friend. I have been completely ignoring Ellie Holsinger, and I feel a little guilty about it. She has a story to tell, a murder to solve, and an FBI agent to flirt with. But rather than help her out, I've been spending all my time with Sam Emerson, helping her sell her biography (thats Frog Kisser).

Ellie is a little irritated about that, and I don't blame her.

It's harder than I thought it would be to have one book wrapped up and out in the universe while trying to write number two. It turns out, the writing and thinking about the story doesn't end when the book rolls into the bookstores. In fact, it's just beginning. The promoting and selling is fun, but leaves little time for much else. At least, if I want to have a job and a social life on top of writing.

So, I've promised Ellie I'll spend at least a half hour with her every day. She's not thrilled about that, but it's better than nothing. Hopefully I'll get Sam's myriad projects off the ground and then won't have to spend quite so much time on them.

What are those myriad projects? Glad you asked. First, Sam has her own profile on MySpace. She's busy making friends and writing a blog, which is really a personal journal. She's going to start a group where people can post about their dating experiences. Second, she has her own web site. Exciting, huh? There she'll post upcoming speaking engagements (okay, I'll be speaking), provide a link to her book, and at some point start another group. Then there is all the other promo, including trying to get into some book stores and things like that. Phew. I'm tired just thinking about it.

So, I apologize to Ellie and all her friends in Bad Heir Day. Hopefully she won't hold my neglect against me...or Sam.

The Other Side of the Story?

Yesterday a guy friend I was lunching with commented on the fact that someone needs to write a book from the Frog's perspective. I said that was a great idea because I, for one, wanted to know what the hell those boys are thinking. Do you agree? Who should write it? I don't think I can...I don't think I could get inside their heads and make the heroes sympathetic.

What do you think is going on inside the head of a Frog?

I recently dated a guy who acted like a prince...for five dates. He said and did all the things guys do and say when they feel lucky to be with the woman they're with. It was nice. After five dates, I got an e-mail saying that he just didn't see any long-term potential with me, and therefore there was no reason to carry on.

Huh?

Since he is basically a good guy, he agreed to meet with me and talk about it because I really wanted to understand this abrupt change in attitude. We had a great talk, one in which he explained himself as best he could (which really wasn't that good, but he tried). I won't go into the details, except to say it turns out he prefers messed up drama freaks to stable women.

He is a Frog, at least at this point in his life. I felt a little sorry for him when he realized that. He said he thought he was too individual to be like all the rest. Alas, I thought so too. We were both wrong.

What's my point? My point is I think the frogs are complex humans too, and I don't think they know they're frogs. (I'm not counting married men, or other people who cheat on significant others...there is no way you can behave like that and not know you're an ass.)

I'm interested in feedback on this musing, so let me know what you think?

Truth #1: The Bachelorette Party

It's time for Frog Kisser: the true Reston story. My fans (okay, a few friends) want to know what parts of the book are based on reality. So here you go...

The fake bachelorette party: True.

What happened is this: my friend Bryn threw a fantastic party for another friend. When she described the wanton debauchery of the evening, I was terribly bummed I'd missed it. As she went on to describe the "to-do" list, I remarked that a party like that was wasted on someone actually getting married. I went on to say the thing I most regretted about having never gotten married was not getting one of those parties.

Well, Bryn has a good heart and hates to see her friends suffer. I became a bride. Or, at least I got to wear a cute little shirt that said bride along with a fake diamond ring and have the best bachelorette party Rumur’s has ever seen (and that is saying something).

My friends went all out. We had a dinner beforehand and took the purity test. I'm sworn to eternal secrecy about the details, except to say there are some things I simply didn't know were physically possible until I took that test. Bryn filled me up with chocolate martinis, gave me a sparkly tiara and a candy necklace, and we gathered our to-do lists and hit the town.

I wasn't sure I'd pull it off. The ring was definitely fake and I was definitely single. But, no one cared. I spent a blissful evening with cute young men licking various shots off my neck, kissing guys with the "same name" as the groom, letting guys do body shots off me (and then kissing them when they completed the task successfully), and unsuccessfully trying to get a guy to part with a condom.

The twenty other bachelorette parties that night sucked compared to mine. And boy were the brides pissed.

I did pay the next day. Four chocolate martinis is about two too many, just in case you're wondering. I haven't been able to drink them since. I still have my bride shirt, though. I chuckle when I see the things guys wrote on it. Very mature.

Oh, yeah, and I did fall totally in love with scrumptious old blue eyes, who wanted me to look him up if the marriage thing didn't work out. Can I pick them, or what? He sure was hot, though. Sigh.

The Sequel

A few people have asked if there will be a sequel to Sam's story. If you've read Frog Kisser, then you probably know why people want one. I didn't plan on a sequel when I wrote it: that's really how this phase of Sam's life ends. I think it's a happy ending, but happiness is all relative.

Three weeks ago I thought I might change my mind, though. I thought I saw a good sequel forming in my own life, and since that's the basis for Frog Kisser, it seemed natural to extrapolate my experience to Sam's life.

Here's what happened: While promoting Frog Kisser, I met a man. Ironic, huh? At first I was a little skeptical. What kind of guy chases a woman who just wrote a book about dating all the wrong men?

A player, Susan. Duh.

Probably. I certainly thought that when I looked at his on-line profile. But, I ignored that little warning in my head and met him. He was sweet, and charming, and smart, and handsome. The entire fantasy package. Best yet, he thought I was the bees knees. I know this because he kept telling me so.

Bingo! After all that work I did to figure out why I'm attracted to frogs, I finally cracked the code. It paid off. I was sitting with a prince and he was digging me. It was a wonderful, wonderful feeling. One I can't remember ever having. And I thought, wouldn't this be a great ending to the whole story?

Well, I lived out that fantasy for a few weeks. Alas, my stories tend toward reality, not fantasy. After all the work I did to figure out why I'm attracted to frogs, guess what... I'm still attracted to frogs. A different frog species, sure. Much better than the poisonous ones. I'm making progress. This one actually paid attention to me for a while and I didn't have to humiliate myself by chasing him. But, at the end of the day, he just really wanted to play in the pond. He wasn't interested in moving to my castle.

I'm not sure what this means for Sam's story, except to reinforce the fact that old habits die hard. Fixing what is broken is hard work and it takes time. But I believe it's ultimately worth it.